Jeff Kerr

This Just In: Canada Rocks

I’m a proud Canadian.  There are several reasons for my love for my homeland.

Let’s start with the overall attitude.  Canada is more laid back and relaxed.  The humor is dry, sarcastic and often self-deprecating.   Canadians are ‘understated’.  We’d rather you be pleasantly surprised by what you uncover beneath the surface.

Food is understated as well.  America has the tendency to over do it a bit, having generally a “To The Max” approach.  This applies to desserts.  Sweets are too sweet here, but in Canada, desserts are creamy, subtle-sweet.  Not unlike myself.  Canada has Coffee Crisp candy bars.  Crisp wafers, chocolate and coffee flavor.  Quite possibly the best candy bar ever.  Canada has Smarties, which are candy coated chocolate sweets like M&Ms but far superior in flavor and texture.

Canada does not feel the need to have it’s own version of everything.  For example: My first week at college in the USA I was working in the cafeteria when a fellow freshman student strolled through the food line.  Looking at the choice of cheese, he asked a question that puzzled me:  “Do you have any American Cheese?” and I said “Do I have any WHAT cheese?”.  “AMERICAN Cheese”.   “What is AMERICAN Cheese??.... It must be the best cheese ever”  and he said “You know it.” And then all the other students in line started chanting “U-S-A!... U-S-A!...”  I don’t understand American Cheese.  It’s not even real cheese.  Canada is great because it doesn’t feel the need to have it’s own cheese.

Canada is great because of The Swiss Chalet.  The Swiss Chalet is a restaurant chain in Canada that serves up chicken.  For around 7 bucks you can get a quarter chicken, the best fries you’ve ever had, a warm bun and a bowl of secret dipping sauce.  The dipping sauce is, simply put, the tastiest thing in the Universe.  After you’ve had some sauce, you crave it incessantly until you can return to the chalet.  Which for most Canadian church-goers is every Sunday afternoon.

But here is the most recent reason why Canada is awesome:  Olympic Mascots.  Vancouver is hosting the winter Olympics in 2010.  The Vancouver Olympic committee recently unveiled the mascots for the 2010 games and here’s a picture.




That’s a Thunderbird and a “sea bear” on either end, but right in the middle is Quatchi, a Sasquatch!  Canada had to come up with an Olympic Games Mascot and came up with a Sasquatch.  Wearing Ear Muffs. 

Outstanding.

All Good Things...

Here we are.  Blog number 14.  Two weeks of blogging every day.  And it's time to call it a successful exercise and hang it up for a bit.  I've had several comments from people that they'd like me to continue blogging every day.  First of all, that's very nice.  Thank You.  But second of all, that is quite naive.  How long do you think it would take for you to get sick of me?  All of you who wish for more, I dare say it would be blog number 15 and you'd think to yourself "This Jeff guy isn't that great... let's see what's on TV".  From time to time people will tell Kristie something like this:  "Oh it must be so fun to be married to Jeff..." and Kristie will smile and think "Yah it's great and all, but being around him everyday is another story".

There's something to be said for not wearing out your welcome.  Seinfeld called it quits before they got annoying.  A lesson that several other shows could have learned...  Hello 'ER' ?????  Hello 'Cosby Show' ???  So it's either time to add a cute new little kid character to this blog in a vain attempt to boost ratings... or it's time for a break.

A true artist knows when one more stroke of the brush will be one too many.  This blog is at that point.  The masterpiece is done... it took 14 strokes.

Thanks For Reading.  See You Soon.

Lucky Number 13

13 blogs in a row.  One more to go.

But this is also my 100th blog post ever.  That has to be some sort of a milestone.  It took me two and a half years to get to 100.  I’m sure Pastor Rob and other more diligent bloggers made it to 100 posts much sooner.  Coworkers of mine such as Alan or Joe will be due to hit 100 posts in about 60 years… so mark your calendars for that.

Tonight was the baby dedication for our fourth and FINAL child Dorothy.  It was great having my parents in town for the occasion and Kristie’s family in attendance as well.  We are blessed with great parents and extended families.

So I can’t think about a better way to celebrate 100 blogs than to talk about my kids.   Each time we’ve had one of our kids dedicated I am struck with several different emotions.  I recognize the importance of God’s hand of protection on my kids in a world where a lot of bad stuff can happen.  I feel the weight of parenthood realizing that much is riding on the decisions I make as a parent.  But the biggest thing I feel is anticipation.  I get excited to see how my kids turn out.  I anticipate great things and know that God has great things in store for them.

I think Lucy (8) will turn out to be a lot like her Mom.  She’ll be emotional, talented, tenderhearted and basically be spectacular.  People will be drawn to her.  I see her ministering to other women and bringing help and healing to them, and being admired and respected by so many… just like her Mom.

Charlie (6) is an interesting kid.  He’s so different than most other boys and I truly believe God has unique things in store for him.  Through his life I hope he keeps that uniqueness.  I think people will have an interesting time trying to figure him out.  He may not fit the mold, he may seem like he’s in his own world and he may have ups and downs in life but simply put, he’s going to change the world.

Betty (3) is going to captivate audiences.  She has a spark.  She will be able to walk in to a room and have everyone notice.  She’s going to be filled with spunk and sass.  She’ll be insanely talented and charismatic.  Charlie will change the world some day, but Betty will hold it in the palm of her hand.

And then there’s little Dorothy (9 mo).  Who knows?  She’s so sweet.  Her smile already lights the room.  I’m excited to see personality traits come out. 

It’s humbling to know that I’m raising these kids for God’s purpose.  It’s an honor to be their Dad, to teach them, hold them, care for them, laugh with them and watch what God does through them.

Lucky Indeed.

Enough about me.

I’m preparing to blog for the 12th day in a row.  I asked Kristie what I should blog about and she said “tell them about taking the kids to the dentist today”  and I said “blah”.  “How about getting the pool out for the kids? Or the dog?”  and I said “blah”. She gave me a couple more options and I said “blah”.   The truth is that those ideas are all fine but the last thing I feel like doing is taking a somewhat normal activity that I did today and add some sarcasm and wit in an attempt to make it clever and readable.  I’m tired of that.  I think I’m tired of ME.  And if you know me well, you know that is saying something.  Because I like me.  I’m one of my favorite people.   Eventually I tire of most people, some people sooner than later.  But today I’ve tired of myself.  And for those who are keeping score… it took 12 days.

But all things considered, 12 days is pretty good.  Here are things that I get tired of in LESS THAN 12 days:

Sensationalized weather reports.  Bad Drivers.  Mediocre Drivers.  NBC Sportscaster Jim Grey.  Rosie Odonnell.  Bluetooth headpieces and their ‘wearers’.  White running shoes with blue jeans.  Aaron Neville.  Political Commentary.  Obnoxious people.  Loud talkers.  Hyped up fear of Shark Attack.  Self Centered-ness.  Sprained Ankles.  Skim Milk.  I think that is all.  There may be one or two more.

Here are things that I like for MORE THAN 12 days in a row:

My Lord, my wife, kids and most of my family.   About 80 percent of my extended family.  About 70 percent of my wife’s family.  Cereal before bed.  Coffee.  German Cars. Ben and Jerry’s Cherry Garcia Ice-Cream.  Music.  Authenticity.  Beaches.  Mountains.  And Coke in a tall glass filled to the top with ice.

That’s about it.  If you didn’t make either list, that means I’d probably get tired of you after precisely 12 consecutive days.  Don’t feel bad.  12 days is pretty good.  That’s as far as I made it.

You Don't Really Mean It

This is cutting it a bit close.  It's 11:30pm.  Truth be told I just want to go to bed.  In fact I had crawled in to bed, turned of the light and was ready to go to sleep when Kristie said, with more than a tinge of urgency, "Did you blog?"  and I looked at her and said "ugh".  And thus here I am.  I'm strictly doing this out of obligation. 

(If you're just joining us, I'm on day 11 of a two week challenge to blog everyday.)

So keeping with a slight tinge of crabbiness... Here now is my top 3 dislikes from today.

Number 3.  Expense Reports.  We have a new business admin at the church where I work and today he unveiled phase 1 of the changes to how we do expense reports, reimbursements and other money business type things.  Don't get me wrong.  I love the new business admin guy.  He's great.  But I don't thrive in a business admin world.  While he was explaining all the new policies I think was deflating.  I know it's all good and that we have to do it.  But I would rather write a song about expense reports than fill one out.

Number 2.  My three year old and Bubbles.  My 3 year old loves bubbles.  She takes a new plastic jar of bubble stuff outside to play with but rather than use the little plastic wand to blow bubbles, she dumps the entire contents on the patio.  She'll then come in looking for more bubbles and we keep falling for it.  This has happened probably 8 times. (we're slow learners... hence the difficulty with expense reports)  This is the opposite of the story of the Widow and the Jars of oil in 2 Kings 4 where they kept bringing empty Jars and they were miraculously filled with oil.  We keep supplying full jars of bubble stuff and Betty keeps dumping them out.

Number 1.  I don't like when my Sports Illustrated Magazine comes in the mail and has cologne ads in it.  Cologne ads in magazines are a pain.  First of all, they make my eyes burn and when reading a magazine I don't want to feel like I'm burning.  Second, the stiff cardboard page they're on makes flipping through the magazine very tricky.  Who buys cologne based on how it smells in a magazine?  I defy anyone to tell me they can tell the difference between two colognes based on what they sniffed in a magazine.

That's it.  I could do my top 3 favorite things from the day, but alas, I'm out of time.

Goodnight.

An Open Blog to All Parents of 8 Year Old Girls

Alright parents... we have to get on the same page here.  We need to create and understanding.  We need to form an alliance.  We need to stick together.

My 8 year old daughter spent the day today asking me for a cell phone.  She's asked me before and I've said 'No'.  She asks 'why?' and I say "because you're eight years old, and when I was 8 I didn't have a cell phone".  "So dad, when can I get a cell phone?"  "When you're twenty... just before you can start dating".

Now I've been holding firm, rejecting her cell phone requests, realizing there is NOBODY out there who would buy a cell phone for their 8 year old.  But during the phone conversation today, Lucy threw me a curve ball.  She stated firmly... "But Dad, one of my friends from school has a cell phone".   And of course I reply with something like "If that friend had Scurvy, would you want that too?"

As the conversation continues, I remain calm on the outside, but on the inside I'm all a-flutter.  Is there really a parent out there buying a cell phone for their 8 year old? Who is this madman or mad-woman who is  blowing it for the rest of us?  Who is out there throwing a wrench in to the ever-fine workings of raising an 8 year old girl???

Is it not tough enough out there with the email and the television and the Spears Sisters?  I'm having a hard enough time keeping my girl from wanting to drive a car, or hang out at the mall, or pose for the cover of Vanity Fair.  I don't need someone out there jumping the gun on the unspoken rule of cell phones.

Now Parents.  This is a set back.  But we haven't lost yet.  It's time to regroup. 

Google Eyes

I’d better get on with this.

It’s only 4:15pm which means I have just under 8 hours to post my daily blog as part of my “two week blog challenge” which should be no problem.  But I have Charlie’s soccer game in an hour and a half and then I have an Elder Board Meeting tonight.  So I know better than to think I’ll feel like blogging after an Elder Board Meeting.  Besides we like to go to Buffalo Wild Wings after, and eat some spicy wings, which end up keeping me awake all night, which would work for blogging but it would be after midnight and the streak would be over.  And then literally a dozen people who read my blog would be crushed.

So Let’s Get On With IT.

As the administrator of this blog, I’m able to access a list of times people have visited my blog which is kind of interesting.  But what’s slightly more interesting is that I can see links from Google which linked people to my blog.  It lets me know what somebody searched for on Google which led them to this website. 

For example somebody once did a Google search for “How early should I arrive for a Jonas Brothers Concert”  and my blog was one of the sites Google suggested, and that person then visited my blog only to realize that there was absolutely no pertinent information and probably cursed my name and vowed never to use the Internet ever again. 

Obviously the most common time Google refers to my blog is if some does a search for “Jeff Kerr”.  I’m usually the top hit for that one.  The battle for the number one hit has been between My Blog and some Real Estate Agent named Jeff Kerr from Illinois.  There’s also a prominent member of PETA named Jeff Kerr and he gets some ‘Google Love’ but I believe I’m winning the war.

So Here now is a list of some of the weird things people have done Google searches for and had my blog pop up as a search result…  In random order.

“I’m every woman”

Faith hill berating fan you tube video

Why go to church?

Weebed

drama for sermon on ten lepers

Its because of you

short bus conversion van

hannah montana tv plug -n-play activity set

who drove the bus in to kill a mockingbird?

deflating disney balloon

Wretched Todd Friel

what was the temperature on January 07, 2008 in Edmonton Alberta

Jonas and the whale

home depot jonas brothers commercial

where to order kerr pink potatoes

The eyes are the window to the neighborhood

crane machine popsicle stick

the song corn on the cob

and my personal favorite of things you can search for on Google and find my blog is….

"poop in the pool" percent.

See you tomorrow.

I'll Pick God

Joshua 5:13-15

Now when Joshua was near Jericho, he looked up and saw a man standing in front of him with a drawn sword in his hand. Joshua went up to him and asked, "Are you for us or for our enemies?"  "Neither," he replied, "but as commander of the army of the LORD I have now come." Then Joshua fell facedown to the ground in reverence, and asked him, "What message does my Lord have for his servant?"  The commander of the LORD's army replied, "Take off your sandals, for the place where you are standing is holy." And Joshua did so.

Joshua is a great book and this passage is one of my favorites.  I love the imagery here.  I love the sarcasm I can read in to this… I think I read sarcasm into scripture more than other people.  But I love picturing this encounter…Joshua stumbling across a commander in God’s Army.  Joshua’s reaction is understandable.  He’s in a time of conflict.  He’s about to attack the city of Jericho.  He simply wants to know if this guy in front of him, who happens to be carrying a sword, is on his side or the side of his enemies.

I LOVE that the Angel doesn’t say “Don’t worry Joshua, we’re on your side... We're here to help you”  I LOVE that the Angel says “Neither... I'm on God's side".  He’s essentially telling Joshua “Listen, little man… I am on God’s side.  He's in charge and you should worry about being on His side as well.  Cause He's gonna win."

I love this story because I know how easy it is for me and for others around me to become very self focused.  We like to do our thing and we like to get God into the mix as well.  If we can get God on OUR side then we’ll win.  Like we’re picking teams for a game of hockey… “I get first pick??... OK… let’s see… I’ll pick…. GOD!”

This story is a reminder that we should worry less about who is on our side and who is against us, and we should worry more about whether or not we are on God’s side.  We should focus less on our agendas and our kingdoms and focus more on the Kingdom of God and how we can serve it.

And I love Joshua’s response.  He simply falls down in reverence and awe.  I think we all need to ‘UP’ our level of respect and awe for God.  This is what it means when the Bible talks about 'the Fear of The Lord.'  I believe a high level of awe and respect and ‘fear of the Lord’ is necessary for us.  If we have a healthy fear of the Lord, our priorities change and fall in line with God’s priorities.  Our level of worship, servant-hood and devotion all get closer to where they should be.

We'll call it a 'time out'

I made the change.  I needed to do it.  I’m not saying I’m done for good and that I’ll never go back, but I needed a break. 

I made the change on my clock radio so that I will no longer wake up to KTIS.  (KTIS is the twin cities’ local Christian Radio station)  This morning was the last time I want to wake up to “Something Beautiful” by the Newsboys.  It seems that “something beautiful” is the song of choice for KTIS at 7:10am, which is when I wake up most days.  And every time it happens that we wake up to the Newsboys, my wife groans and says “who is that?”  and I mumble “I think it’s the Newsboys” and then I’ll try to bug Kristie with something like “You know, they’re the boys with the news”.  She’ll reply “Are they still around?”  and I’ll say “I guess so” cause if it’s on KTIS it must be current right?

It happened for the last time this morning.  When I awoke to “…it’s the voice that whispers my name…” instead of hitting the snooze button, I hit the Tuner button and then turned it off.  So what I wake up to tomorrow will be a surprise, but I’m pretty sure it won’t be anything by the Newsboys.  Or Mark Schultz.  Or “The other side of the radio” by Chris Rice.   And If I’m being honest, I’m ok with that.

Now hear this.  I like Christian music.  I applaud KTIS.  I think they are great.  I wish they wouldn’t turn the weather report into a devotional thought every time, but hey, when I get my own radio station I can do the weather however I want right?? 

And this is not a knock on Christian Music.  There’s stuff I love and stuff I don’t.  I just need a break from waking up to “You Raise Me Up” by Selah.  Or anything by Casting Crowns.   

Now that I’m thinking about it, I’m having a hard time thinking of a song I’d like to wake up to in the morning. Maybe “Taking Care of Business” by BTO.  “Clarity” by John Mayer. “New Day” by Robbie Seay Band.  “Glorified” a song on a new CD from Victory Christian Church is a great song.    But maybe I’ve set KTIS up for failure.  Perhaps any song is more annoying at 7:10am if you’re not a morning person.

Perhaps you have some suggestions of good wake up songs… or really bad ones.

Happy Mother's Day

Last night was the first time EVER that my wife stuck a 9 volt battery on her tongue to see if it was good.  This begs the question "How does somebody make it 34 years in to life and never put a 9 volt battery on their tongue???"  Are there more ladies out there like Kristie??

One of our smoke detectors was beeping at me, indicating a low battery and in my gimpy state couldn’t reach it so Kristie (my hero) stepped in and saved the day.  She took out the old battery, found a new one in a drawer and said “How do I know if this battery is any good.”  And I matter of factly said “You stick it on your tongue”.  I was surprised to hear her ask that question because EVERYONE knows that’s how you check a 9 volt battery.  She stuck the battery, well charged mind you, on her tongue and got a good zap and made a grimace that was quite perfect.

This morning at church was “In The Pink”, an event for women of all ages at RVC.  There was breakfast, music, video and a message.   I want to make mention of Kristie, who spoke, and did a marvelous job.  I say that as a proud husband, but also as a guy who has been around a few sermons in my life, and this one was really well done. 

It was great seeing my girls there as well.  It was very cool to watch them as they watched their Mom speak and engage and inspire.  Because of that, and because it’s Mother’s Day Weekend, I’m reflecting on some of the things that my kids get to learn just from watching their Mom.

They get to learn how to care for people and be an excellent example of Jesus’ love.

They can learn how to care for a family with incredible love and devotion.  To create a home where everyone feels secure, noticed, preferred and loved.

They get to learn how to be creative, to have fun, to laugh and smile.  To be full of life and love and joy.

They will learn how be qualified and capable at so many things and to do them with such grace and excellence, thereby honoring God.

My kids get to grow up watching a Mom who loves and honors people and who is loved and respected by so many others.  Who is a leader, an influencer, an inspirer and who is devoted to God and His Kingdom.

Happy Mother’s Day kids…. You are lucky kids.