Lessons Learned and Secrets Exposed

It’s my last day of vacation. 

Tomorrow I return to work and begin to sift through the 163 unread emails.  And that’s not including any “the music is too loud at church” comments. Those get put into comment cards and placed on my desk.  So I’ll have those as well.  Its easy to turn a deaf ear to those, a deaf ear from all the loud music.

We’ve had a week of travel and over the last 8 days,  I’ve learned a few things.  Here they are in random order:

Hot weather in April is better than cold.  We began the week with 3 days poolside in Scottsdale AZ. In the mid 80s.  We ended the week with 19 degrees and 14 inches of snow in Brainerd MN… also poolside… (indoors)  This gives new meaning to the passage of Scripture  in Psalm 103 “… as far as Brainerd is from Scottsdale, is as far as He’s removed our transgressions from us…”  I think that’s The Message version.

I also learned people in Brainerd are sissies when it comes to snow.  It snowed 14 inches and we thought “great, we’re here at the water park/hotel and we don’t need to go anywhere for a couple days…” but the water park didn’t open because the lifeguards couldn’t get in to work.  All of the sudden being stuck in a water park hotel with little kids turned from great to not great because a water park hotel without the water park is just a hotel.  The Bible says “as far as a Water Park Hotel is from a plain Hotel, is as far as He’s removed our transgressions from us…”  (Message)  Local restaurants couldn't open because nobody showed up to work.  "Does it never snow in Brainerd?" was my thought. 

I learned that  our 7 month old daughter doesn’t like to be held, especially on Airplanes.  She’d be fussy from the moment we got the plane to the moment we got off and deposited her in her car seat.  I learned that when you’re holding a fussy baby on an full airplane, there’s a wide gap between the opinion women have of you and the opinion of men.  Women, think the baby is cute and most are sympathetic to your cause, they are full of smiles and talk to the baby, trying to help.   The men, on the other hand put on head phones and close eyes and try to pretend the baby doesn’t exist.  Men are sissies just like the Brainerd Life Guards.

Finally, I learned that Men’s bathrooms in Airports are truly gross.  I have a proposal…. There needs to a separate part of every public men’s bathroom designated as the clean part.  Whoever wants one, can get a permit to use this clean part of the men’s bathroom.  Now here’s the tricky part… this part of the bathroom will be closely monitored and any guy who pees on the seat, or the floor, or forgets to flush, or spits his gum in the urinal, or doesn’t wash his hands or does any other thing that is deemed gross by the panel of authorities, will lose his permit.  This permit will be called the ‘Clean Urination Permit’.  (C.U.P)  Eventually, the only people left with a C.U.P will be the ones who are able to use the bathroom in a clean manor and thus a more tolerable bathroom experience. 

These are my realizations from my week of travel.

Finally, in the interest of full disclosure, I should let you know about my second job.  I’ve kept it a secret for a while, but here goes.  I’ve been a part of a band named ‘Hot Chip’.  I play electric guitar and sing as well.  Part of my disguise was to put on a fake beard.  We were recently on the Conan Obrien Show. Below is the video.   I hope you enjoy. Click HERE for a link.  Sorry, there's been some problems viewing this video... good luck.

Comments

[Nils]

I really think you should bust out that beard some weekend.

[Brenda]

Did you ask to borrow the yellow suit?

[The Skoog's]

We were wondering if you actually returned from the land of the abundant sun. Can hardly wait to see the two of you in all of your Coppertone glory. Is that Bob McCaskey in the yellow suit??

[Nancy]

I want to know who is going to be the C.U.P. police and decide who gest kicked out? Also, the guy closest to the front of the picture, is that Shawn Roehl? Is this a whole RVC band that you three are keeping a secret?

[Jes Johnson]

That band plays an interesting song. Hm...not sure about this! More importantly...people don't really write things in reference to the music being too loud in church on their comment cards - do they? WOW. So glad you guys were able to get away - and it's good to have you back!! :)

[Jen Murphree]

I think you should ask your friend in the yellow zoot suit if he can join the team at RVC... he'd really add alot to the experience! Hey, if I can get my jogging out of the way at the same time as praise and worship, that'd be awesome.

[Brook Cortte]

I once used a public bathroom with more than just urine on the floor...

[Brook Cortte]

...actually twice...

[David J.]

Are you still going to be the worship pastor? I want to say, It was awesome when you sang Everybody by Keith Urban I think it was for the picnic's baptism?. Maybe. I'm glad to know a fellow country fan.

[Alison]

Great sermon this week - great Kristie singing as well (and of course the kids were pretty good too!) :)