Jeff Kerr

Lessons Learned and Secrets Exposed

It’s my last day of vacation. 

Tomorrow I return to work and begin to sift through the 163 unread emails.  And that’s not including any “the music is too loud at church” comments. Those get put into comment cards and placed on my desk.  So I’ll have those as well.  Its easy to turn a deaf ear to those, a deaf ear from all the loud music.

We’ve had a week of travel and over the last 8 days,  I’ve learned a few things.  Here they are in random order:

Hot weather in April is better than cold.  We began the week with 3 days poolside in Scottsdale AZ. In the mid 80s.  We ended the week with 19 degrees and 14 inches of snow in Brainerd MN… also poolside… (indoors)  This gives new meaning to the passage of Scripture  in Psalm 103 “… as far as Brainerd is from Scottsdale, is as far as He’s removed our transgressions from us…”  I think that’s The Message version.

I also learned people in Brainerd are sissies when it comes to snow.  It snowed 14 inches and we thought “great, we’re here at the water park/hotel and we don’t need to go anywhere for a couple days…” but the water park didn’t open because the lifeguards couldn’t get in to work.  All of the sudden being stuck in a water park hotel with little kids turned from great to not great because a water park hotel without the water park is just a hotel.  The Bible says “as far as a Water Park Hotel is from a plain Hotel, is as far as He’s removed our transgressions from us…”  (Message)  Local restaurants couldn't open because nobody showed up to work.  "Does it never snow in Brainerd?" was my thought. 

I learned that  our 7 month old daughter doesn’t like to be held, especially on Airplanes.  She’d be fussy from the moment we got the plane to the moment we got off and deposited her in her car seat.  I learned that when you’re holding a fussy baby on an full airplane, there’s a wide gap between the opinion women have of you and the opinion of men.  Women, think the baby is cute and most are sympathetic to your cause, they are full of smiles and talk to the baby, trying to help.   The men, on the other hand put on head phones and close eyes and try to pretend the baby doesn’t exist.  Men are sissies just like the Brainerd Life Guards.

Finally, I learned that Men’s bathrooms in Airports are truly gross.  I have a proposal…. There needs to a separate part of every public men’s bathroom designated as the clean part.  Whoever wants one, can get a permit to use this clean part of the men’s bathroom.  Now here’s the tricky part… this part of the bathroom will be closely monitored and any guy who pees on the seat, or the floor, or forgets to flush, or spits his gum in the urinal, or doesn’t wash his hands or does any other thing that is deemed gross by the panel of authorities, will lose his permit.  This permit will be called the ‘Clean Urination Permit’.  (C.U.P)  Eventually, the only people left with a C.U.P will be the ones who are able to use the bathroom in a clean manor and thus a more tolerable bathroom experience. 

These are my realizations from my week of travel.

Finally, in the interest of full disclosure, I should let you know about my second job.  I’ve kept it a secret for a while, but here goes.  I’ve been a part of a band named ‘Hot Chip’.  I play electric guitar and sing as well.  Part of my disguise was to put on a fake beard.  We were recently on the Conan Obrien Show. Below is the video.   I hope you enjoy. Click HERE for a link.  Sorry, there's been some problems viewing this video... good luck.

Hockey, Hooky and The Sound of Peppermint

We are nearing the end of an exceptionally busy season of life.  If you combine Kristie’s pregnancy and bed-rest last summer, newborn colicky baby, church construction projects and new campuses, a Christmas season and an Easter one… we’ve been tapped out for about 8 months now.  We are thrilled to have gone through all of those things because the end result is totally worth it.  But it was a busy season none-the-less.

So these days, I’m enjoying the small moments when I’m able to unwind a bit…

First was last Wednesday night I received some tickets to the Minnesota Wild game.  Charlie (my 6 year old) and I made an evening of it with a pre game trip to Cosetta’s, for a giant bowl of Mastociolli with two meatballs.  Charlie is not a fan of loud noises and the big horn/light/smoke combo at the Wild Games freaks him out a bit.  But it was good spending one on one time with my son.  We loved the game and the mini donuts.

Second was last weekend.  We made arrangements to lead worship at our Faribault campus last Sunday morning and therefore had Saturday free.  And at approximately 4pm when I was waking up from a nap and preparing to take Charlie to the mall where the Kerr gals had spent the afternoon shopping I thought to myself… wow, it’s been a while since I had a Saturday at home doing family stuff all day.  It was nice.

Finally today....  I’m getting some custom in ear audio monitors and today I had to make the trip to the Mall of America to get my ‘Ear Impressions’ done.  This is when they inject a foamy Gel-like substance in your ear and get a mold of your ear… hence the custom ear monitors.  First of all the injecting the goop into your ear feels quite odd, but my moment of solitude came when I had to sit there (at a kiosk in the hallway at the Mall of America) for five minutes while the gel hardened.  And since my ears were literally filled to overflowing with blue goop, I couldn’t hear a thing.  It was forced silence for five minutes.  I found myself wishing for an additional five.  It’s like a spa treatment for the over-done…  “I’ll have ear goop silence for half an hour please”. 

After my ears had been molded I wandered around the mall for a few minutes and had lunch at a place nearby and smiled as I thought, “Here I am on a Tuesday afternoon, wandering around the mall, and nobody knows where I am.”  It was like I was playing hooky from work and nobody knew about it.   Of course blogging about it may not be the best way to maintain secrecy.

I’m realizing that I came through this busy season fairly well.  I only had a couple near breakdowns.  But I also recognize that during a busy season of life, moments when I stop and allow God to speak occur less often.  Creativity and passion slowly get replaced with routine and obligation.  I’m reminded of how much we all need times to relax and rejuvenate.

So if that’s you today, turn of the computer, go get a tube of toothpaste end empty it in to your ears and just enjoy to silence.  Enjoy the sound of peppermint.