Jeff Kerr

Happy Mother's Day

Last night was the first time EVER that my wife stuck a 9 volt battery on her tongue to see if it was good.  This begs the question "How does somebody make it 34 years in to life and never put a 9 volt battery on their tongue???"  Are there more ladies out there like Kristie??

One of our smoke detectors was beeping at me, indicating a low battery and in my gimpy state couldn’t reach it so Kristie (my hero) stepped in and saved the day.  She took out the old battery, found a new one in a drawer and said “How do I know if this battery is any good.”  And I matter of factly said “You stick it on your tongue”.  I was surprised to hear her ask that question because EVERYONE knows that’s how you check a 9 volt battery.  She stuck the battery, well charged mind you, on her tongue and got a good zap and made a grimace that was quite perfect.

This morning at church was “In The Pink”, an event for women of all ages at RVC.  There was breakfast, music, video and a message.   I want to make mention of Kristie, who spoke, and did a marvelous job.  I say that as a proud husband, but also as a guy who has been around a few sermons in my life, and this one was really well done. 

It was great seeing my girls there as well.  It was very cool to watch them as they watched their Mom speak and engage and inspire.  Because of that, and because it’s Mother’s Day Weekend, I’m reflecting on some of the things that my kids get to learn just from watching their Mom.

They get to learn how to care for people and be an excellent example of Jesus’ love.

They can learn how to care for a family with incredible love and devotion.  To create a home where everyone feels secure, noticed, preferred and loved.

They get to learn how to be creative, to have fun, to laugh and smile.  To be full of life and love and joy.

They will learn how be qualified and capable at so many things and to do them with such grace and excellence, thereby honoring God.

My kids get to grow up watching a Mom who loves and honors people and who is loved and respected by so many others.  Who is a leader, an influencer, an inspirer and who is devoted to God and His Kingdom.

Happy Mother’s Day kids…. You are lucky kids.

Friday Night

I was on my way home from a church function tonight, driving in my car and enjoying the beautiful evening and some music.   Keep in mind the car is a 1995 teal green Honda Accord with chipping paint and in need of a brake job.  The Sound System is my iPod played through the little cassette tape iPod adapter and the speakers leave much to be desired.  But in spite of car and stereo mediocrity, the long drive was very nice.

I was listening to the album "Little Voices" by Sara Bareilles.  Needing inspiration for my nightly blog I thought  I should blog about my new favorite CD.  Thus here it is its a great album.  Its got a couple of bad words in it, so buyer beware. 

Next.  I highly recommend the new worship CD from Gateway Church in Dallas called "Wake Up The World."  Ive been listening to that a lot lately.  Its very well done.

Our new favorite movie in the Kerr Family is "Mr Magoriums Wonder Emporium".   This is a great movie.  This movie sums up one of the key messages of my heart in one great line:  "Your life is an occasion... Rise to it".  This movie is totally clean and great for the whole family.

Lets move on to TV.  American Idol.  During week 1 of the top 12, I picked Siesha to win it.  So I'll stick with her, even though I think she's a long shot.  David Cook is a talented kid whos got an attitude.  What is it with the talented musicians and there attitude problems??  And David Archuletta is a bit annoying... quite a bit.

Thats all the pop culture I know.

Its Mothers Day weekend, so guys this is your heads up.   You have one more day to make plans and buy a card.  Im in the unique position of having no idea where in the world my mother is this weekend.  My parents live in Zambia Africa.  They will be here at our house in one week.  But as to their whereabouts currently, I have no idea.  They were last heard from in Barbados and I dont even know where Barbados is.  So Happy Mothers Day Mom wherever you are.

Blogging on Star Power

"A new blog every day for TWO WEEKS???"  Who thought THAT was a good idea?

For those of you who are used to only checking this blog every couple of weeks, seldom expecting to see a new post, I am on day four of my 14 day blog challenge... or "BLOGSTRAVAGANZA  2008" as I'm calling it.  A new blog every day for two weeks.

Tonight was Charlie's first ever soccer game.  Charlie is an interesting kid.  He's in his own world most of the time and when that translates into a soccer game, we'll find him running down the field away from the game, just looking up at the sky, happy as can be.  He's not caught up in the usual stress of trying to get the ball in the goal.

Charlie's world consists of imagining himself as a character in a Mario Bros. video game much of the time.  He has all the Mario moves memorized and will even sing the 'star power' theme music while he's running... cause that makes him run faster of course.

Last week during the first practice of the season, the coach was doing a drill with the team where he had all the boys line up in front of the goal, each with a soccer ball.  Then the coach would say the name of a player and they'd kick the ball into the goal as hard as they could.  So one by one he went through the team....

"Zach"...   kick
"Jacob"... kick
"Danny"... kick
"Charlie".... pause..... pause... leg pulled back.... pause.... team waiting.... pause... and then kick.

After the practice I asked Charlie why he waited so long after his name was called before he kicked the ball.

Charlie said "That's how I charge up."

We Should Have Named Him 'Busted'

We still have our dog, Buster.  I’ve mentioned him before.  He and I have had an up and down first two years.  But the last 6 months have really tried the relationship.

Around the start of November we noticed Buster was limping on his back leg.  “That’s weird”  I thought.  And that’s about all I did.  Well, this continued for about a week, so we took him in to the vet.  (we’ll call that ‘Visit A’)  The vet checked him out and gave him some meds and a few days later he was good to go.  “Wow, that was a relatively easy and inexpensive solution to what could have been a big ordeal.”  Was my thought and I apparently forgot to knock on some wood.

A Couple weeks later, he began limping on his OTHER back leg and this time it was worse.  He wouldn’t put any weight on it and this continued for a couple weeks.  (we don’t err on the side of moving TOO quickly to the vet)  After two weeks, we made an appointment with our vet for more magic meds but this time the meds didn’t work.

This got worse, so we took Buster back in for X Rays.  The phone call came later saying “The X Rays don’t show anything wrong with Buster… That will be Two Hundred Dollars please”. 

So for most of the Winter, Buster hopped around on three legs.  But he was still a young dog with lots of energy and would go crazy without exercise, so I tried taking for walks… or hops…. but this was no good cause I’d get tired of the weird looks from all the gawkers… “Who is that terrible man taking his injured dog for a walk”.

Fast forward to the beginning of March.  I got a call from an upset Kristie:  “Hi, I’m at the Vet.  Something’s wrong with Buster, he couldn’t even get up at all today… I’m really worried about him”.  So this would be what?  ‘Visit E’???    I know my wife well enough to know that in a distraught state it wouldn’t take much for her to hand the Vet our Master Card and say “Just do whatever it takes to fix Buster” so I hung up the phone, made a hasty exit and sped to the Vets office to intervene and add a dose of perspective. 

“He’s a member of our Family….”  Kristie would say.

“He’s a Dog”.  I would rebut.  “He’s like our Goldfish and you remember what happened to them right??” 

Finally the Vet said that she couldn’t do any more to help Buster and then came the words that I had been dreading… “I’m referring you to the Orthopedic Specialist at the University of Minnesota”.

‘Visit F’.  University of Minnesota.  I was there with Buster and I was rather crabby.  I was doing a good job of sticking to my guns… fix the dog if possible but at some point the whole thing just gets too much… and by 'too much', I mean WAY TOO MUCH.  But I let it get away from me, and before I knew it, I was out five hundred bucks and the report was…. Wait for it…. “We can’t find anything wrong with Buster”.   I believe I began limping at that point.

The next suggestion was an MRI for $1400.00.  “But I know that’s expensive and you’d need to take some time to save up for that” said the Vet.  After a long stare and pause I mustered up the strength to say "Right…….. save up for it.”

On my way home from the Orthopedic Specialist I wrestled with the thought of just letting the dog go free in Dinky Town, never to be heard from again.  But I chose not to.  He was already haunting my awake hours, I didn't want him haunting my dreams.

So here we are, mid-May and here’s the end of the story.  Buster’s fine.  A few weeks ago he stopped limping.  He just stopped.  I guess he got tired of limping.  And from time to time I swear I hear him laughing at me.

Mandatory Slow Down

I have a purple foot.

I badly sprained my ankle playing softball a week ago.  X rays were negative.  This continues my streak of bodily harm from church softball.  I’ve had bruised ribs, a curved spine and a chain link fence pattern in the top of my head all in the last two years… all from softball.  You’d think I’d learn my lesson.  But, as a result I’m forced to hobble around on crutches for a couple weeks.

You may be thinking… “It’s just a sprained ankle… walk it off”.  But there are sprains and then there are SPRAINS.  My foot is very purple and I would have taken my bandage and sock off and taken a picture for this blog, but nobody needs that.  So with the crutches, I’m forced to move at a much slower pace.  Walking from my desk to the photocopier, walking from my door to the mailbox, walking from the couch to the bathroom… all of which take more time and therefore require some planning ahead.

But here’s the deal, for many people the slower pace would drive them nuts.  But’s having a weird affect on me.  Sloth is setting in.  I’m really enjoying the slowdown. I was driving home from my In-Laws last night, taking the back roads to Farmington, enjoying the sunset and the open space.  I looked in my rearview mirror to see a line of cars following close behind me and I thought ‘wow, everyone is driving really fast’ then I realized I was driving about 30 mph in a 55mph zone. 

I was sitting on the couch tonight.  That’s it.  I wasn’t on my laptop, or watching TV, or on my cell phone or reading something or talking to anyone… Kristie asked me what I was doing and I said “I’m sitting on the couch”.  And she asked “Why?”.  I said “Why not?”  She didn’t know how to answer.  Now answer honestly, when was the last time you just SAT on the couch?  It’s pretty sweet.

Here’s my thought.  Everyone thinks faster is better.  Everyone thinks everyone else should move faster as well.  Fast fast fast.   I’m rebelling.  The swollen purple foot has gone to my head.  I like SLOW.  I think slow is better.  Slow is the new fast.  Slow is IN.  Slow is the new Little Black Dress. 

A Fortnight of FUN

Here’s the deal.  I’m a creative person.  I get inspired when I’m creative.  If I go too long without time to be creative, I get crabby.  And although I’m inspired when I’m creative, I’m not easily inspired TO BE creative.  It’s all to easy for me to make excuses and settle and let the day pass by without taking advantage of it.  And by being creative, I mean writing, either in a journal, or on a blog or a song, or a song snippet, or a Lego statue, or a kids craft project…  I should try harder to do those things.  I truly believe that’s one of the reasons God put me on this earth… to be creative.

So there’s my confession for today.  What I’m attempting to do about it has never been done before in the history of me.  I will now attempt to blog every day for two weeks straight beginning tonight.  And by no means am I expecting to unlock the golden creative nugget at the end of those two weeks.  I’m not expecting Zondervan to call me up demanding a publishing deal.  I’m not expecting Joel Osteen to use these 14 blogs as the inspiration for his upcoming book “Still kicking the Best Life Now”.  But rather, I’m simply doing this as a discipline exercise for myself. 

I know what your thinking:  “Wow, nothing says ‘FUN’ like witnessing somebody’s discipline exercise”.  And to that I say: As a train is about to crash, you have the choice to look away.

And ONE final thing… I will not consider this experiment a success if I cop out with any blogs.  And by cop out, I mean write a blog that really has no business being a blog…. For example.

“I was watching my kids on the swing set tonight and that got me thinking… ‘ life is like that sometimes… sometimes you’re up and sometimes your down’…. Post a comment and let me know if YOU like swings”

This would be considered a ‘cop out blog’ during this experiment.  I won’t do that…  or rather, I won’t do that more than twice.

Game ON.

And I’ll consider this blog number one.

Lessons Learned and Secrets Exposed

It’s my last day of vacation. 

Tomorrow I return to work and begin to sift through the 163 unread emails.  And that’s not including any “the music is too loud at church” comments. Those get put into comment cards and placed on my desk.  So I’ll have those as well.  Its easy to turn a deaf ear to those, a deaf ear from all the loud music.

We’ve had a week of travel and over the last 8 days,  I’ve learned a few things.  Here they are in random order:

Hot weather in April is better than cold.  We began the week with 3 days poolside in Scottsdale AZ. In the mid 80s.  We ended the week with 19 degrees and 14 inches of snow in Brainerd MN… also poolside… (indoors)  This gives new meaning to the passage of Scripture  in Psalm 103 “… as far as Brainerd is from Scottsdale, is as far as He’s removed our transgressions from us…”  I think that’s The Message version.

I also learned people in Brainerd are sissies when it comes to snow.  It snowed 14 inches and we thought “great, we’re here at the water park/hotel and we don’t need to go anywhere for a couple days…” but the water park didn’t open because the lifeguards couldn’t get in to work.  All of the sudden being stuck in a water park hotel with little kids turned from great to not great because a water park hotel without the water park is just a hotel.  The Bible says “as far as a Water Park Hotel is from a plain Hotel, is as far as He’s removed our transgressions from us…”  (Message)  Local restaurants couldn't open because nobody showed up to work.  "Does it never snow in Brainerd?" was my thought. 

I learned that  our 7 month old daughter doesn’t like to be held, especially on Airplanes.  She’d be fussy from the moment we got the plane to the moment we got off and deposited her in her car seat.  I learned that when you’re holding a fussy baby on an full airplane, there’s a wide gap between the opinion women have of you and the opinion of men.  Women, think the baby is cute and most are sympathetic to your cause, they are full of smiles and talk to the baby, trying to help.   The men, on the other hand put on head phones and close eyes and try to pretend the baby doesn’t exist.  Men are sissies just like the Brainerd Life Guards.

Finally, I learned that Men’s bathrooms in Airports are truly gross.  I have a proposal…. There needs to a separate part of every public men’s bathroom designated as the clean part.  Whoever wants one, can get a permit to use this clean part of the men’s bathroom.  Now here’s the tricky part… this part of the bathroom will be closely monitored and any guy who pees on the seat, or the floor, or forgets to flush, or spits his gum in the urinal, or doesn’t wash his hands or does any other thing that is deemed gross by the panel of authorities, will lose his permit.  This permit will be called the ‘Clean Urination Permit’.  (C.U.P)  Eventually, the only people left with a C.U.P will be the ones who are able to use the bathroom in a clean manor and thus a more tolerable bathroom experience. 

These are my realizations from my week of travel.

Finally, in the interest of full disclosure, I should let you know about my second job.  I’ve kept it a secret for a while, but here goes.  I’ve been a part of a band named ‘Hot Chip’.  I play electric guitar and sing as well.  Part of my disguise was to put on a fake beard.  We were recently on the Conan Obrien Show. Below is the video.   I hope you enjoy. Click HERE for a link.  Sorry, there's been some problems viewing this video... good luck.

Hockey, Hooky and The Sound of Peppermint

We are nearing the end of an exceptionally busy season of life.  If you combine Kristie’s pregnancy and bed-rest last summer, newborn colicky baby, church construction projects and new campuses, a Christmas season and an Easter one… we’ve been tapped out for about 8 months now.  We are thrilled to have gone through all of those things because the end result is totally worth it.  But it was a busy season none-the-less.

So these days, I’m enjoying the small moments when I’m able to unwind a bit…

First was last Wednesday night I received some tickets to the Minnesota Wild game.  Charlie (my 6 year old) and I made an evening of it with a pre game trip to Cosetta’s, for a giant bowl of Mastociolli with two meatballs.  Charlie is not a fan of loud noises and the big horn/light/smoke combo at the Wild Games freaks him out a bit.  But it was good spending one on one time with my son.  We loved the game and the mini donuts.

Second was last weekend.  We made arrangements to lead worship at our Faribault campus last Sunday morning and therefore had Saturday free.  And at approximately 4pm when I was waking up from a nap and preparing to take Charlie to the mall where the Kerr gals had spent the afternoon shopping I thought to myself… wow, it’s been a while since I had a Saturday at home doing family stuff all day.  It was nice.

Finally today....  I’m getting some custom in ear audio monitors and today I had to make the trip to the Mall of America to get my ‘Ear Impressions’ done.  This is when they inject a foamy Gel-like substance in your ear and get a mold of your ear… hence the custom ear monitors.  First of all the injecting the goop into your ear feels quite odd, but my moment of solitude came when I had to sit there (at a kiosk in the hallway at the Mall of America) for five minutes while the gel hardened.  And since my ears were literally filled to overflowing with blue goop, I couldn’t hear a thing.  It was forced silence for five minutes.  I found myself wishing for an additional five.  It’s like a spa treatment for the over-done…  “I’ll have ear goop silence for half an hour please”. 

After my ears had been molded I wandered around the mall for a few minutes and had lunch at a place nearby and smiled as I thought, “Here I am on a Tuesday afternoon, wandering around the mall, and nobody knows where I am.”  It was like I was playing hooky from work and nobody knew about it.   Of course blogging about it may not be the best way to maintain secrecy.

I’m realizing that I came through this busy season fairly well.  I only had a couple near breakdowns.  But I also recognize that during a busy season of life, moments when I stop and allow God to speak occur less often.  Creativity and passion slowly get replaced with routine and obligation.  I’m reminded of how much we all need times to relax and rejuvenate.

So if that’s you today, turn of the computer, go get a tube of toothpaste end empty it in to your ears and just enjoy to silence.  Enjoy the sound of peppermint.

The Horror of Chucky

The Kerr family took a trek to Chuck E Cheese last week.  This is a special reward for a good week at school for the kids.

There are events in life that result in a wide chasm between the good mood of the kids and the bad mood of the parents.  Chuck E Cheese provides the biggest chasm in existence I believe.  Chuck E Cheese is filled with elated children all high on adrenaline and sugar, and weary parents who are wandering around, wondering how they ended up there.  But Kristie and I will put up with the bad pizza, the mass of hyper kids, the muggy sweaty scent and the over unsanitary ambiance of the place for the joy it brings to our kids.

The fun of Chuck is the game tokens you get with your meal.  These game tokens can be used in various video and carnival type games.  When you do well at some of these games, you earn prize tickets.  You then cap off the evening by cashing in the prize tickets for your prizes… like candy or cheap toys that could easily be purchased at the local dollar store for much less than the bill at Chuck, but that's not near as much fun.  The whole process is like a microcosm of capitalism right there in the Burnsville Mall.

Here’s the deal with the games…  They’re kids games.  But there is no shortage of adults who see these games as sort of a mini Jr casino and dominate the games with their cup full of tokens and fists full of prize tickets.  I’m not sure what they think they’re going to win, but there they are, playing the odds at the color wheel game (think roulette) with coin after coin awaiting the big payout of tickets and rejoicing more than a little too loudly when they get it.

So my thought is this… isn’t there an easier way to obtain a dollar’s worth of cheap toys and prizes?  What are the children thinking as Mom and Dad hoard all the tokens?  Do these ‘grown ups’ even have kids?  Or do they just sneak in whenever they get a hunch that the Fastest Finger machine is going to pay out?

Leap of Faith

So here I am at the end of another long day and I just realized it's February 29th. Which means its a leap year. Which means we get an extra day this year. A leap year is a very special thing because it only happens every million years or so.

I'm disappointed that I worked all day on Leap Year day. Why did I have to go to work? When I get to the end of this year, I'll find that I worked an extra 9 hours cause I worked all day on Leap Day. Which means that at the end of the year, my paycheck should have an extra 45 dollars on it.

We should not have to pay any taxes on Leap Day. 365 days of taxes are enough.

So I've now decided that for the rest of my life, whenever there's a February 29th I will use that extra day for extra stuff. No more leap year days spent just like all the others. We always say "Wow, I wish I had more time, I could ... blank...." What is your 'blank' at the end of that sentence? Whatever you would do if you had a whole extra day is what you should do when there's a leap year. It is in fact a whole extra day. It's 24 extra hours. It's a tax free day.

You could take every leap day from now until you die and learn to speak German, or do a jigsaw puzzle, or train for a marathon, or quit smoking. The possibilities are endless.

Now that I'm thinking about it, there should be free cake for everyone on Leap Day.

If we all stuck together on this, we could turn Leap Day in to the coolest day ever. Even more cool than Arbor Day.

Happy Leap Day everyone.

All These Things

I’m spent.  I’m at the end of a long day, which followed a series of long days.  I’m looking back on my day today and reviewing my to do list and I’m realizing that I didn’t get to all of the things.  There are things left unchecked. (I now remember why I don’t like to do lists.  I’d rather write a song about to do lists than have an actual list)

The day started off with a successful check mark.  For you see we have a garbage pail in the laundry room that has been overflowing for a while.  Both Kristie and I have neglected emptying the pail (obviously) and it has since turned in to a bit of a game.  It turned in to an understanding that whomever puts something in the pail that either falls out on to the floor OR causes something else to fall out on to the floor, that person has to empty the garbage.

I lost.

I emptied the garbage pail this morning.  So I made sure to add that to my to do list for the day and thus started my day with a successful ‘check’ off of the list.

I was reading Matthew Chapter 6 today.  In this chapter, Jesus is telling his audience not to worry about the things other people worry about.  He’s saying that pagans worry about status, recognition, wealth, security and such.  But followers of Jesus shouldn’t worry about those things…

So do not worry, saying, 'What shall we eat?' or 'What shall we drink?' or 'What shall we wear?' For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. (Matthew 6:31-33)

So here I am at the end of the day.  I can look back and see that I was somewhat successful at accomplishing the things I set out to accomplish today.  I did OK at checking things off of the list.  But my thought as I read Matthew 6 is this:  How successful was I at seeking after the things I’m supposed to seek after?  How much of my day today was spent seeking after status, recognition, security, comfort etc. versus simply seeking after God and trusting him to supply all the things I need? 

Matthew chapter 6 is a bit of a gut check for all of us.  What are we striving for each day?  May we all recognize that God is enough, and that we should strive after Him and His righteousness.  Not strive after Him in addition to all these other things, but simply seeking each day to please Him and trusting that He’ll provide us with what we need.

Guitar Guru

My guitar has been having issues.  On Saturday morning, I took it in for repairs.

The place it’s getting looked at is The Podium… a fine guitar shop for fine guitars.  On Saturday mornings you can bring your guitar in to have it looked at by Marty, the resident guitar repair expert.  They open at 10am, and it’s a first come first serve basis.  I needed to be first in line because Kristie and Lucy had tickets to the Hannah Montana 3D concert movie and getting home late was not an option.  So I arrived at 9:15am and waited outside in my car.  I was indeed first in line.

My first goal was to get my guitar repaired and get home in time for the ladies to hit the movie theatre.  If my guitar gets repaired and the ladies MISS the Hannah Montana movie, the whole escapade will be considered a failure, much like if the Patriots were to lose the Super Bowl after their perfect season… anyway…

Goal # 2 was to behave in such a way as to not get a lecture by the guitar repair expert Marty.  Marty is a nice guy, but he’ll let you know when you’re mistreating your guitar.   The Podium is a place that is filled with legit, old timer, guitar guys.  I wanted to not stick out.

As I waited in my car I began to get nervous about my place at the front of the line.  The store wasn’t open yet and it was cold outside, I was in my car and thus, my place in the front of the line was not firmly established to the world outside my car.  I didn’t want to stand by the door in the freezing cold weather with my guitar because Marty might see me and say something like “What! You have your guitar sitting outside on a 10 degree morning??!!, I can’t even speak to you… AWAY FROM ME!”

Anyway, at 9:50 I got out of my car and stood by my car, closer to the front door to the podium, anxiety increasing with every passing moment.  At 9:52, an employee of the Podium arrived to work and unlocked the door to enter.  At that very same moment, a guy with a guitar is walking down the sidewalk with his guitar and says to the employee… “Oh, cool, you’re open” and he walks in the store.  NOW HE’S IN THE FRONT OF THE LINE… The store wasn’t even open yet!

As I’m distracted by what just happened, another young guy appears seemingly out of nowhere, looking like the captain of the high school football team, and he enters the store, out maneuvers the first guy with some sort of head fake move and is now in the front of the line which leaves me THIRD in line.  THIRD!

Now, if I were American by nature (or Australian) I would have entered the store and made a firm announcement that I indeed had been waiting in my car for 45 minutes and that I was first in line.  But alas, my Canadian-ness came out and I settled for third place.  As a rational Canadian, I realized that being first in line was certainly within my grasp but I let it slip away.  And by the way, the whole ‘last shall be first’ thing does not apply at the podium.  They must be out of New Testament Jurisdiction.
So the three of us waited in the lower level of The Podium.  Just then, a fourth guy arrived right at 10:00am and was miffed to see three people in line in front of him.  (Rookie)

As the four of us waited, the repair door opened and out came Marty surrounded by a cloud of Guitar Guru Glory, and he looked at all of us poor guitar souls and said ‘Good Morning’… the four of us customers shuffled our feet, stared at the floor avoiding eye contact with guru Marty, and mumbled “good morning Marty”.   Suddenly, standing there in my guitar inferior-ness, I was feeling fortunate that I was not the first in line.  Captain Football guy was the first in line and Marty took one look at his guitar and said “Your guitar is too dry… you need to humidify and come back and see me in two weeks…. NO REPAIR FOR YOU!!”

As he walked away defeated, Captain Football shrugged his shoulders and made his way out of the store.  I gave him a look that said “Dry?  You bring an un-humidified guitar to Marty in the midst of the dry Minnesota winter?  Everyone knows you can’t let Marty see a DRY GUITAR!  Maybe if you hadn’t stiff armed your way to the front of the line, you’d have had some extra time to HUMIDIFY!”

(Actually, I didn’t look at Captain Football guy as my eyes were fixed on the floor as to not draw attention to myself)

Anyway, Marty finally got my guitar in for a look, didn’t lecture me and turned out to much nicer than the guitar culture folklore had led me to believe.  It’s almost as if he needed to automatically dismiss the first two customers of the day and start fresh with the person third in line.  It’s almost as if Third in line was the best place to be.

… the last shall be first indeed.  Or at least the third shall be.

Stay Inside, Take a Nap.

There are times when I have flashbacks to my Canadian childhood.  Seeing this picture of Charlie is one of those times.

Question for you Americans out there.  The Canadian Dollar is worth the same as the American Dollar.  When was the last time that was the case? 

Answer:  1976.  This means it’s no longer lucrative for me to use my Canadian coins in American vending machines.  This means Canada is on it’s way to World Super Power.  Our loonies are strong, our water is fresh, our oil is plentiful and our wit is as dry as the cold arctic air.  (Of course our laid back attitude prevents us from actual world domination.)

Question number two…(speaking of arctic air) we know that 0 degrees Celsius is 32 degrees Fahrenheit.  At what temperature are the Celsius and Fahrenheit scales the same?  In other words, there’s a temperature that is the same in Celsius and Fahrenheit… what is it?

Answer: Minus 40. 

Minus 40 degrees Celsius is the same temperature as minus 40 Fahrenheit.

This was the temperature this morning in Edmonton Alberta where my brother lives.  (Actually, it was minus 44) This morning in Edmonton, none of the School Buses would start so parents had to drive their kids to school.  Neither of my brother’s cars would start due to the cold weather, so my nieces and nephew got the day off school.  This is a sign of real winter… you keep your kids home from school when there isn’t a vehicle in town that will start.  That’s a pretty good sign that it’s time to stay home and chill.

There are times when its just a nice day to stay home and relax… sip some tea… take a nap.  We move at a pretty fast pace as humans and it seems that more and more the tendency is to find ways to move at a faster pace so we can be more productive.

I saw an advertisement at the Gas Station last night for “Shock Coffee”.  This is Coffee with extra caffeine and energy boosts to give you that extra step in your day.  The pot has a blue lid with lightning bolts on it.

People… if a regular cup of coffee isn’t doing the trick and you find yourself looking for the blue lid with the Lightning, I believe that’s a sign that you need to take a nap.  There’s a reason your body is telling you it’s tired… it is.

So let’s take a lesson from our Canadian brethren and chill out a bit.

Fish Sticks and God's Promises

Hi,

It's monday at noon.  It's my day off and I'm preparing lunch for myself.  I looked through the fridge and the pantry and decided that the best option for me was frozen Tater Tots and Fish Sticks.  This is either due to the fact that the fridge and pantry are sparse in the area of quality lunch foods, or the fact that on the inside, I'm essentially a 12 year old.  Fish Sticks and Tots indeed sound quite good.  I bought the frozen fish sticks a month ago and tried them out on my kids and nobody liked them.  How can this be?  Doesn't every kid love frozen fish sticks?  So now I'm the only one eating them.

Also, on this monday...  This morning was a beautiful COLD morning.  This was an Alberta morning.  As I returned from driving the children to school I saw a rainbow in the sky.  I don't know that I've ever seen a rainbow on a cold, clear, January morning.  This was indeed a special rainbow because if you understand Scripture like I do, you know that this rainbow is God's promise to never have it be this cold again.